Rule #3: Master Feedback

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Let’s begin by understanding that as leaders, we hold a crucial role in giving feedback. It's not just a task but a responsibility that we fulfill every day. Our team members look up to us for guidance. When providing feedback, we should be mindful of the timing and setting. What might be convenient for us may not be for those who need it.

There is a lot I could say about feedback, but here are a few key points I try to keep in mind.

Consider simplicity. Feedback is different from a formal review. It is informal. It doesn’t need to be a long, drawn-out process. Take a minute. Provide feedback. Allow for a response. Move on. Keep it simple.

Consider the timing. I firmly believe feedback should be given sooner rather than later. If you wait too long, you run the risk of forgetting details or forgetting altogether. It is far better to address an issue while it is fresh in everyone’s mind. A quick approach to feedback also demonstrates a sense of urgency. Not everything will be 911 status, but treating every detail with urgency sets a precedent for excellence.

Consider the setting. Positive feedback typically has a broader range of acceptable settings. If, for instance, you are telling someone they did a great job, more than likely, just about any setting will do. On the other hand, you shouldn’t give critical feedback to someone in front of others. It's best to keep that behind closed doors or at least out of anyone else's earshot if there is even a hint of negativity.

Consider the situation. Before giving feedback, you should also consider what the person receiving it is doing. Giving timely feedback doesn’t mean you should interrupt someone. If you need to step in before a big mistake occurs, then don’t wait. But more than likely, even though your feedback is important, it is probably not consequential enough to keep someone from finishing a task, completing a project, or interrupting their family time. Sometimes, waiting a few hours or even a day is appropriate before providing feedback.

Consider the emotion. Is this bit of feedback going to be difficult to swallow? Will it be met with resistance? Is the other person in a positive place? Will they be able to receive it right now? Are you in a positive place? Is the subject matter emotionally charged? You should consider these questions before jumping in with a corrective word. One way to assess if it's the right time for feedback is to ask. “I have some feedback for you. Is now a good time?” If they say no, respect their answer and ask when would be an appropriate time. Your words will not be heard if you give feedback when someone isn’t ready to hear it.

Consider the tone. By nature, feedback often has a confrontational element to it. Think about the last time your boss pulled you aside for feedback. Did your heart start racing? Did you tense up? If you are anything like me, I would immediately think the worst. What if, when we give the feedback, we help to take the tension away by starting with questions and phrasing them as advice? Start with how things are going. What areas need improvement? What areas are going great? You can add some advice once you allow them to express their opinions. Eventually, if you get good enough at asking the right questions, they will arrive at the point of the feedback independently. That’s a win/win.

Feedback is not always the most popular part of our job, but we can’t get around it, so we might as well prioritize it.

You should foster a culture of feedback where everyone is expected to give and receive feedback regularly. This will promote growth and development and instill a sense of commitment and shared responsibility.